Monday, February 28, 2011

my first day on the phones, and.....

 They dont even work!! So we newbies (me, tanya and Barton) cant take calls... so....

 So. Blog ideas.
Boredom at work. Ha.
The big B <<< hahahahha wow
Rocky and his latest letter from Friday
Karen and her bogusness
The lack of using cell phones at work
My new camera J
Meg went to the ER????????
AIDS. Cuz they are fun.
CT in 39 days!!!
My desk and the crumb lady
Nuthairz. And the Big B
My awesome coding system
School and babysitting

Let’s see if I can expand on any of these ideas while I sit bored at work.

1.       Boredom at work: I got here at 10. It is now 3 The systems we use are not allowing 3 of us in yet. Lamesauce. I have done word searches. I have colored. I read a freaking book. I am now emailing myself (thus how this was written in part).

2.       The big B. SKIP while at work, thank you! ok so i seriously have issues with the big B. I really kinda like him which is weird cuz I am usually NOT attracted to married me. Like, Craig is hot, but he is Darcy's husband and I would never go there. But. The Big B. Man o man. I really really really like him. and he is married.

3.       Rocky. O man I love this boy. Which is funny considering the previous paragraph hahaha. The first page I read was deep. Like uber deep. I actually can’t believe how deep he was in it. I was quite amazed. Anyways. It was all about how much he loves me and how I effect him. God, I love that boy!! <3 <3 <3 The second part of the letter is much more refreshing, the same loving boy I love so much. He knows I love him, Like, I somehow have finally gotten it thru to him that I love him. He is excited for my new pictures, although he doesn’t quite realize what they are of. Hopefully he enjoys them. He wants me to take more special ones, but I am leery of this, since I really want to lose weight (although that is not going so well either!!)… He says that now that I know of his childhood, of his guilt, there are no more lies or omissions, and that it amazes him that beyond all of that I am still in love with him. Why wouldn’t I be? He is the most amazing man I have ever met. He actually mentioned in his letter, or well noted, that he needed to “take care of things” and then I have to assume that he went and ……….. well, took care of something hahaha. Anyways, he states that he is awe of me sending him money, and that I shouldn’t do that anymore, that I should take care of my daughter instead. Silly boy. He and Liz are both my top priority. I have to make sure that the ones I love the most are taken care of. I can’t help it, it is just who I am!

4.       Karen. Well, Karen fell on the ice the other night. And then early Friday morning she finally went to the ER and got some pain meds. I was talking to her after she got home and she was pretty loopy. Now, in hindsight, I wish I woulda asked her how she truly felt about me. Because I really don’t think she likes me at all. I’m sorry that her son is in love with me that isn’t my fault lol

5.       Cell phones. We can’t use them at work. Which really sucks since there is nothing going on really as far as what I get to do today. I am anxious to use mine but I will have to survive…

6.       OH OH OH I buyed a new camera the other day, like yesterday. It is PRETTY!! It is a black version of my old camera, and it takes panoramic shots. I am excited to get to using it. I plan on utilizing it on Thursdays in Milwaukee with Sarijane and the girls :)

7.       Meg and the ER. So I snuck my phone out to check it and megs went to the er for her endo issues? IDRK right now, since I can’t text her about it. Makes me wonder who is at the store though. I might not be an employee or really care, but I still wonder lol.

8.       AIDS. Idk. I like aids. I don’t want aids, but I do feel they are fun to joke about.

9.       CT. I can not wait to be there in CT. Seeing my man, seeing my Aunt Judy, meeting Joe, visiting the  Mystic Aquarium, maybe going to Boston for fun? Or should I wait on Boston till August? Is it bad if I am already planning that trip? LOL. I wonder if I am able to be a southwest frequent flyer. Or if I will be getting my card from the hotel as a frequent stayer?  The next 39 days better go hella fast, just saying…

10.   The crumb lady. I got to my desk and it was covered in crumbs. Like, EW! I had to get Lysol wipes to clean everything. It was gross.

11.   Nuthairz. Can not discuss now. Maybe later.

12.   The coding system also can not be discussed lol

13.   Tits. He is still being emo as hell. Driving me up a wall!!

14.   Julie. For a lesbian, she is pretty cool. A lil awkward, but cool still.

15.   Babysitting. Amanda’s Great Gramma died, so I am babysitting Konnor all day Saturday. And for some time weds night. Fun Fun.

16.   Thursday. On Thursday, I am taking Liz to Milwaukee to see Sarijane and Lili. I am excited. Well, sorta. As long Sarijane is being good. I guess we are gonna go to the art museum and see some Frank Lloyd Wright BS exhibit. BUT I wanna go to the jelly belly factory a half hour from Milwuakee. I think that would be fun! Lol. IDK there are not that many free things for ppl to do in Milwaukee I guess and I don’t want to waste money on Sarijane. Especially cuz I will have to pay for gas and food for me n liz. Also, I get to stop and see Scott and Janine. Well Scott and the girls. And pick up my girl scout cookies which will be fun! Lol. I am actually excited to see Ciara, and Claire and Carina. Scott not so much. But still…

AND IN HINDSIGHT, EXCEPT FOR NUMBERS 2, 11, AND 12, IT ONLY TOOK ME AN HOUR TO WRITE ALL OF THIS. It is now just before 4. Still no working programs. And a giant headache is taking me over. And yeah. I want to get down to my car and get my stuff. And maybe eat, although I can’t tell if I am hungry lol. OK so 4.5 hours to go, Im outta here.

Sunday, February 27, 2011


lol, did I even spell the title right?? jesus. Please excuse any spelling errors in this post, I am frickin exhausted!

I just did catch-up for the last 3 weeks of homework. Sadly, I can not get to Week 3's assignment, which is gay as hell lol. What else do I want to hit on??

1. Milio's
4. Money
7. West (Milan)
8. Rocky
9. Mitch

1. Milio's. So next week I am scheduled a whole whopping 5.5 hours. On fricken sunday. So Sunday, I work 7 to 5 at west, then 530 to close at milio's. That is fucking gay as hell. I hate the fact that I have only 5 hours. And I am pissed that they scheduled me for sunday in the first place knowing that i had to work the other job.

2. I want to sleep. lol

3. Steve. He is such a conundrum. One moment he doesnt want to be near me at all, the next he wants to cuddle. like WTF. Chose one. But dont be angry when I wear my CT clothes. OH I need to post those LOL. Next post, Promise!

4.Money. I have a serious issue with spending money lol. I need to stop spending money. especially with my lack of hours at milios. ok? ok. lol.

5. Aids. What can I say, AIDS are funny. Not like haha-u-got-AIDS funny, but funny to joke about. does that make sense? lol. What can I say, I am TIRED!!!

6. Sarijane. I get to go see her FINALLY for the first time since July I think when it was Lili's birthday. Liz and I are going to Milwaukee for the day on Thursday. A plus side to doing this is that we get to stop at Scott and Janines for my girlscout cookies, and to see my cousins :) We havent seen them since Labor Day. Damn, I havent seen ANYONE in ages, lol. But yeah, I am excited to go see Sarijane, even if she does get on my nerves a lot lol. I have to empty the car completely before we go tho, incase we need to utilize strollers or anything.

7. West (milan). LOL. So Milan added James on Facebook. How awesome. I have issues. Like seriously. I am not inot married guys, why am I into this one?? Weird. Anyways. I have lots of thoughts on this. (A) his wife is ugly (B) since marrying previously-mentioned ugly wife, he has put on weight. But yet it makes him hot, does THAT make any since??? (C) I got called over to his desk yesterday and I was like OMG THEY READ MY BLOG but then it was ok. I blame James V for the paranoia btw. But they needed me to resign something or other. I need to stop accessing this at work tho, cuz i really dont want them to read it lolz. like can we say EMBARESSING lol.

8. Rocky. I finally got a letter friday. And thank god too lol. In it, he apologizes (again) for lying. And says that now there are no secrets in our relationship. Unless I have any. And **obviously** I do, and he doesnt know that. And I am fighting with myself on whether I should come clean. I have 2161 days (as of sunday) to go until he comes home. And I might not like sex but I would like the ability to have it if I want to. And not with myself lolz.

9. Mitch. That is just a whole topic I am too tired to discuss lol. I know that next weekend we are probably gonna hook up. But idk. next weekend is Goo-Weekend, which means the possibility of getting pregnant is higher. Which makes me want to skip it. But I like it with mitch, plus we can use dad's house, since dad has guard lol :P And I like the ability of using dads house, just saying.

Ok I hit on most of what I needed to. So now I am packing up the puter, going home and going to bed. In the morning, I must put down my deposit on my apartment and then shower/shave and work, plus I need to check in and see if I can do Week 3's assignment yet. IDK why it isnt up yet. It is making me mad lol.

Lastly, I love Eminem lol

Saturday, February 26, 2011

So as per my recent spending habits, I bought a dozen new movies last night lol. Damn West and its $768 check to me!! O wait, why am I complaining? I LOVE GETTING ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY RENT IN ONE PAYCHECK PLUS LEFTOVERS!!!

lol awesomeness.

Anyways. I am watching the social network movie. not bad. dude is fucking smart. and im eating raw cookie dough. my fav.

Thursday, February 24, 2011


So I am quite surprised. I have had 2 random people that I do not know comment on my blog, which I find amazing since I dont really advertize this writing, and I sure as hell dont let my friends read this since I am usually talking shit about them. Its not like I LIKE talking shit, its just I need a way to express how I feel without having to worry about two-faced bastards telling them what I said. And frankly, my journals I used to keep were so NOT private cuz like EVERYONE wanted to read them...

OK so in other thoughts...... ... .... Wait, that would assume that I have thoughts...

I think I am getting over the emo-y depression I have been suffering the last 2 days, which is f-ing good. Today, I feel good. Im smiley, happy. I think that it is because of what yesterday was. I feel chipper.

I still dont have a letter, but I no longer feel as tho the Langoliers ate the entire east coast, or at least Utica NY and the state of CT. LOL. I might be leaning towards the Langoliers eating NY, since I havent heard from Karen, but I did hear from Joe yesterday, I even spent 15 minues on the phone with him. Joe says Sheldon is ok, and that he has been getting my mail. I guess there is some issues with my check getting to him, but I reassured Joe it was a cashier's check, NOT a personal check <<UM hello? the remitter form even says not to send personal checks LOL>>. So, I guess Rocky has sent me a letter, it better be a good one since it has been 2 weeks since I recieved my last one. Hopefully it is in the mail tonight. I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo desperate for words written from his hand, spawned from his brain which is hidden behind those beautiful brown eyes. oh gawds How I wish it was April 8th instead of Febuary 24th... 43 days till I get to see him... 2164 days until he comes home...  How I wish those days would fly by a little faster tho, I miss him terribly... </3

In other news, I went to Steve's last night, I could see him warring with himself over sitting near me adn scooting away. I caught him a couple times, whether he was doing it subconciously or not, scooting near me or scooting away. I dont mind him being near or anything. I just dont want to be physical anymore with him. And it is not really his weight like he thinks, cuz that never really has bothered me. Im just not physically attracted to him anymore... NOW... take my floor manager Milan, I mentioned him a few weeks ago, man he is starting to grow on me. And I am 99% sure he is married. LOL I am soooo horrible. He just has this look of awesomeness. <<lol side note, i totally stood next to him on the elevator. and he totally brushed up against me. I have a problem. lol>> another sign i have a problem, I facebooked him. his page is private. so James added him lol. Then, I googled his image. This is all I got tho. God I need help...

milan from work...

^^ like all my space between areas? lol. Had to. Private info :P Peering co-workers.

Have I mentioned that I love having a blog? I freaking love it. The ability to post what I want, where I want, when I want? F-ing awesome. OH OH OH tomorrow is payday!!! uber money from West, and probably a decent size check from Milio's as well :D Shit, got to work again!!

OK home now. Still no mother fucking letter which is seriously starting to piss me off. I think Shey and I are gonna take Konnor out for chinese tomorrow. Or go somewhere for fish. But idk yet. I do know that I have a crazy freaking headache, its 6 and liz aint home yet, and instead of cleaning my room, im stuck on this damn laptop! Grr lol. I wonder if dad will let me borrow the truck next thursday to move stuff to the storage unit. I suppose it will depend on whether O am done arguing with the power steering pump... I put fluid in it and it still isnt any better... OH and to add onto my counting from earlier? There are 65 days until I move. I should call that Gary guy and let him know I want the apartment and can sign that lease whenever since I got my checks earlier this week!! :D I suppose that means I should plug in my tracfone so I am able to access his number tho... Nah, I will just snag it off of the craigslist ad lolz. And call RIGHT now. Cuz I multi task :P

And Gary says...

nothing really... lol. We are gonna meet this weekend so I can put a deposit down on an apartment :) I cant believe I am getting my own apartment. Like this is the shit dude. Ok, now I am gonna go clean some i think, myabe put in one of the 15 movies I have bought in the last 2 weeks lolz. LATA!!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Im a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. I dont understand how you keep forgetting that.

Oh I had a horridly emo day Tuesday. Some days I want to just run away. Or give up on everyone, everything.

First off, I got up early, took a shower and got liz up by 720.  Dropped her off at daycare and off to work i went. I wound up being 20 mins late for work, which i later had to make up so that I could get my full 8 hours or damn close in.

Then, after work, i went home where I still had not recieved any mail. For those keeping track, that marks two weeks tomorrow that I havent gotten anything. This sucks. Anyways....

Got liz, went to John and Amanda's new apartment, which is right across from Erich n Carrie (YAY!! not...). They both ran out the door as soon as i got there, and left em with boxes upon boxes of things not yet unpacked, Konnor, and Liz. The kids alone/together are fine, but add in the boxes and lack of TV and I was S-C-R-E-W-E-D!!!

I set liz to the task of entertaining goober, and tried to attempt to unpack boxes. I got Konnor's high chair set up, as well as found his toys to entertain the kids with as well. John came back with a load of stuff, and took liz home at 8 so that she could get to bed. i put goob to bed about 830, and quickly ran outta shit ta do!

So I called Amanda to see where her bed sheets were so I could maybe make their bed (Cuz, see, I woulda just gone thru the boxes in their room, but after opening a box entitled "DVDS" and finding porn, I decided it was not a wise idea, just saying...) and she snapped at me then hung up on me. Seriously, if it had not been for Konnor sleeping or even just being there, i woulda left. I was just so frusterated.

I cleaned up after me n liz, turned off all the lights, and sat on the couch with a glass of water for like a half hour before they got home. They got home, I informed them of what I did for them (without being asked to btw) and left.

As for babysitting friday night, idk if I will be now. Manda knows I was mad, and more than likely at them, but right then i didnt even care...

Shitty day yesterday. Same today as well. Adios!

Donald Paul Pringle...

So today is Donnie's 25th birthday. Its hard to believe that two years ago we were sitting at Applebee's on the East side, having fun, talking shit about Crystal, discussing life in general. I miss this. I miss him.

Why do I have to miss him? Because a year-n-a-half ago I made the mistake of falling in love with him. And then he went off to Basic training. Then came home and shacked up with Crystal because she was pregnant with their son (which accutually turned out to be his...). I cant hate him for that. But Crystal and her deformed eyes were abloe to tell that I was in love with "her" man and she started to hate me. I tried to be friendly. I tried to do what I could, when I could. I spent like $30 on new baby gifts for the child she gave birth too. **shuddering**  Anyways, cant fault a child for it's parents, cuz that is just plain ol' mean lol.

I miss him tho. More later

Sunday, February 20, 2011

funny story.... *AKA kerriozidy kilt ze kittay...*

so i have quite a lot of things that happen that qualify as funny stories, but this one takes the cake.

Basically, curiosity killed this.

Someone knew that I was talking shit about them. They knew that someone else read this blog regularly, and probably (unconciously) devised a plan to search that person's history (oh evil evil person) to read this blog, which naturally was to be a SECRET (moronic person who searched it). Now, if the fact that they had read it wasn't bad enough, I got $150 on that person becoming a frequent reader, even with all the nasty shit I say about them. Sad, really, but hey whats a guy who is love with a girl who is committed to an inmate gonna do??

Anyways, so if you are confuzeled, this is what happened:

Steve used Ben's laptop as a way to understand what we were talking about as far as the whole "read" thing went. he "used" it for something, probably while ben was at work (so i do not blame you, ben, for this stuff going down). So now he is mad at me because of my true feelings? let me get this part of the story out there tho...

...tyme travylin ta ze passt....

August, 2006- I was spending quite a lot of time around my "larger" friend, Steve. I was spending the night at his house, hanging out all the time. It didnt take long for me to become a permanent fixture at the house. As most people know, on Septemeber 17th, 2006, I became pregnant with Burger's kid. I confirmed I was pregnant on Friday, October 13th, 2006.  At some point in early october, i found out steve was having feelings towards me, as i was to him. And we acted upon it. Sure, I could be a cunt and just blame it on the horomones or something, but it wasnt that. I fell in love with, and pretty fast, the only friend (besides carrie) who stuck around my entire pregnancy and helped me. In November, he decided he couldnt deal with the stress, so after 2 or 3 months of being together, we broke up. but we ignored the past and stayed friends. he was still at our house for xmas, i was still at his house 24/7.

In May of 2007, I had my baby shower and granted Carrie to bring her friend, Sarah Novotny. It didnt take long to see that steve liked this girl, and things had slowed down between us sexually since liz had been extremely active, and lets face it, you dont want to have sex with something squirming in-between ya! lol I backed off, let him have his space. But let me tell you, it hurt me crazy bad to see him swoon over this girl. I mean, this is the man that spent several months creating a life with, that I was not embarrassed to be seen with (even tho a lot of his "friends" were and still are...), someone who I had talked to about the big picute of being together, the first person I allowed myself to love after Mitch.

Between May of 07 and 08, I stayed single. Even when I had the chance to be with Burger, I skipped it. I might regret skipping that chance now (but only slightly since I know what kind of scum he is), i did it without another thought then. I watched as Steve dated Amber Olson, whom I never really liked. We might be similar in nature, but she is a cunt and I am not. Simple. I watched as Steve left our friendship and his god-daguhter to be with his "friends" (you know, the ones who want nothing to do with him now??? those ones, yeah...). I heard all the nasty things he said about me and decided i was gonna do me, and he could go do whatever.

Then, when he found out his grandparents were splitting up and he had no where to go, he turns to me. All of a sudden I am the best friend he has ever had? Please. But I convince my mother to allow him to move in with us in our Water street duplex. Wrong move. Having him there 24/7 wasnt that bad, it was more torture. I oculdnt have any of my friends over, because he never left. This started his whole "i dont have a job so I will live off others campaign" And yet, I allowed it. I spent money on weed to make him happy. I gave him money for this or that. Mom paid for 6 months of car insurance ($$700 dollars he STILL owes her for and she wants STILL). Mom bought him a GPS which promptly was destroyed.

We put up with him living with us for a year, without a job, eating all the food, destroying our home, dealing out of our home. Mom finally kicked him out. I was happy. I could now do what I wanted when I wanted without him interferring with who or what i did and when. Yet, somehow, he continued to have a hold over me. I took the chance of him moving out of my house to cut all emotional ties. That was last year, this time. I continued to be friends, but I stopped ALL sexual contact because frankly it just wasnt fun for me anymore, Sorry, but thats the truth. For some reason, seeing him go psycho on his god daughter, seeing him beat the dog... I just cant handle that. My dad was abusive, there is no way I was WILLINGLY going to let someone capable of yelling at a 2 yr old for talking be my "Mr. Right".

Now fast forward to now. Steve still doesnt have a job. His roommates want to kick him out. And yeah he is being nice but how much of that is from being "in love" with me over losing me to Sheldon?

I want to stay friends, but some concessions need to be made...

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

storage units and moving SUCK

So I was a lovely 20 mins late to work today thanks to my mother who threw a shit fit when I made her take liz to daycare, since she doesn’t really do anything with her life/day anyway.  I am thinking that I am going to call the landlord at the apartment and get I sooner, just so that I am done with it… I have 3k sitting in the bank for the apartment, and so it wouldnt be that big of a deal to move it up. except then i will need a sitter or something all the time which would suck...

650 security
650 first month
650 april
650 may 

that would leave like what, $500 in the bank roughly?
almost enough for another month. or utilities lol.
so i would have to start paying rent like saving wise for june?

or is it wiser to just stay and deal? ugh. this sucks. maybe i should call brian and bing bing and try to get out of the lease at my house since we NEVER have bills paid n shit. ugh what to do what to do! nevermind i cant call them, i cant find the number lol. FUCK

god damn, i wish i was as stupid as my mother some days, but then i remember that i must be because i still live there!!

maybe i will move in april? then the rent last another month? or just get a storage unit. yep. there we go. gonna call on one tonight. i lied, i just called on 2. the rexs are full. i dont want jar, so naturally i called anyways and have an appt at 10 on sat to look at a 8x20  for frickin $65 a month, with like, a security deposit of $65, and pro rated for the rest of this month...  I am waiting to hear back from the division ones, which would be nice cuz they are like, RIGHT next door lolz...

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

stupid f*cking holiday **grumble grumble** I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND!!

Ok, so this is going to be a 180 from my last post lolz!!!

I love Sheldon. How could I not love him?? I mean, for crying out loud, he is the "one"

Altho... This post may be confusing for some. And mainly, its my confession that I am not partaking in at a church...

Forgive me fellow bloggers, for I am a bitch. Upon learning that my for-the-point-of-this-exercise-"prison boyfriend" had basically signed our life away, I had many malicious thoughts. And even acted out on some. One thought was to indulge his pretty little head of the stories of "4 guys in 6 weeks", which as no one knows, happened last summer AFTER we got together. Then I realized that I am not OVERLY evil. Well, not much. So i decided to NOT tell him, much to megan's demise.... And yeah for whatever reason i am still talking to her but more on that later lolz.

So then I had this AWESOME (NOT) idea to hang with my EX-fiance. Not so bright of a move. But I was really upset with sheldon and decided i needed to clear my head and mitch was the only one who i could think of, since ben had this "girl" down for the weekend, who was tall and quiet and now he is breaking up with her after breaking her cherry but i so did not just tell ppl that, ok ben?? lol anyways... We hung out and drove around a lot. Ended up at the dog park by dads house, where some stuff happened. no sex. but still, stuff.

And the worst part was I didnt even feel guilty. Like, even now i dont, which makes no sense to me considering what happened while I was at culvers. BUT im getting ahead of myself now lol. Anyways, I hung out with him again Saturday night, and then we tried to do "it" but idk if I just wasnt into it or what, it was weird. Anywho, it was weird and akward and i didnt like it this time so it probably wont happen again...

The worst part is that for Mitch, it is all there. Sparks when we hold hands, sparks when we kiss, when we touch. Always, everytime. Just like it supposed to be like with your soul mate, which makes no sense to me. Meg says its the familirarity, but i think she smokes too much crack, or something. Why do I feel sparks for someone I have know from 11+ years, but have trouble finding it with the man that I am in love with? I hope April makes it different...


OK. SOOOO................... I got a phone call from Sheldon for Valentines Day, which I think is quite amazing. It has been one month exactly since I was out in CT, and I miss him and it. The bad thing about the call was that I had to convince him that i really do love him. Based off of the posts about "giant lies" on facebook, he thought I might leave him and he is on crack for that cuz no one can calm me like he does. So to convince him that i want to be with him forever, i said this to him:

who is ur fav gf who got a real coprate job

and who is your fav gf who got her own appartment

and who is your favorite gf who put $200 in your books

and then he wsas all YOU PUT MONEY IN MY ACCOUNT?????

 and i was like, uh duh cuz i love you deeeer

and i was all, i got your letter thursday, and mailed a check to you on saturday. which means i still love you

and he was all like sappy n shit. it was awesome lol.

** i will be back later to talk more, but i need to shower!!!

Thursday, February 10, 2011


So all the awesome plans I have been making for 6 months or so, about moving out to CT? FUCK IT.

Seriously, if I did not love this boy so much, i would end it and just be with steve or mitch. GOD DAMN IT

So, I have always known, way deep down, that Sheldon was guilty. It really doesnt bother me. People do stupid shit, and lord knows, I have done my own stupid shit... But he finally stopped lying to me, and told me he was guilty. Granted, he doesnt really have reasonings, but whatever, it doesnt really change things. Watch my daughter a lil more carefully out there when we move, but w/e cuz I trust him, even with this giant lie...

Well, he had to go one step further. He went and signed a fucking paper saying he gives up his parole eligibility. Meaning, instead of getting out in 3 to 4 yrs, its now not happening until January 2017. SIX YEARS!!!! And we have been together for just over 2 years. So a total of 8 years with him locked up. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

So naturally, if my 15 hr day wasnt bad enough, I now must write a letter telling him I still love him, that I already knew he was guilty, and that I hate him for signing that paper.

OK, I get that he feels bad that he lied, but still!!!! By punishing himself, he is ultimately punishing me... I must now run and stab something... I feel like ICP music... FUCK FUCK FUCK



What do I want to say here today... I have a few notes as to what I want to hit on actually.

1. Twister/eater/listening...

2. Uncle Steve

3. Vacation #2 (April 8 - 10)

4. Onions (this might be TMI for ya ben!!)

5. Prisoners of Love

6/ Prisoners Wifes, Girlfriends, Sig. others, program (PWGP)

7. Being interviewed for a blog...

1. will be touched on later

2. Uncle Steve was at dad's house the otehr night when I stopped over. Dad and Gerry were all congrautelatory on the new job, but Steve was not. There is a reason why i hate ppl named steve... lol... Dad was excited about the new apt, and steve was silent. Like, GAWDS!!!

3. I have my next vacation planned!!! April 8th thru the 10th, so I have to take off of work the 10th, but whatev. At least I get to go see my baby!! <3

4. Onions... If you dont want to know, as this may be misconstrued as TMI for some, then dont read this next section in green lol So Sometimes randomly, even when I am no where near onions, I can smell onions on my hands. No biggie. Unless I am later going to the bathroom adn realize my snatch smells like onions (Que the tmi bit lol) I have no idea why my snatch periodically decided to smell so foul. It happened when I was out east, and then again earlier this week or last week.  GRRR I wish it would stop I think that it is part of the reason why I cant seem to "do" anything lately, but with the lack of insurance, I have no ability to ask Ranum to sniff my snatch lol...End of subject, for now lol

5 & 6. So last night I was introduced to a new group thru my friend Pam, whose bf is also incarcerated on the east coast. Anyways, the group can be found via my face book, I believe it is called "Prisoners Wifes & Girlfrieds", but I am not 100%. Anyways, they had a link to this blog radio site, where the woman who founded the group was talking. Her name was Reesy, and I am sure I will talk about her again... Anyways... So I was listening to her show, and she was interviewing a woman who wrote a book called "Prisoners of Love" which is about being the outside counterpart of an inmate. Anyways, they were talking about quite an array of topics, which was really cool. Until I decided to call in and spend a half hour on long distance, which my mother is totally going to kill me for lol. Anyways, I got some really cool advice on my situation, altho the author was kind of mean and blunt/brutal. But at the same time it wasnt that big of a deal because even as she said, I dont have to follow her advice but just do what I feel is right for my situation. I am actually thinking about starting a second blog (I know, me being all like productive-like!!!) all about being a prisoners woman.

Anyways, So I wound up winning a copy of the book, which I had been planning on buying Friday, but I get to save $30 or $40 bucks, so who am I to complain lol. So upon recieving the book, I will be post a synopsis and my take on it. But on the main PWGP page, the non-facebbok one, I saw taht they were looking for people to host meetings in different states. So as of right now, it sounds like I am going to be the Wisconsin Chapter Leader **insert huge smiley face!!** lol. I cant hold it in my home, but I am sure I can come up with somewhere, maybe the community center or something. Anyways, there was also a link for merch, so I checked it out and now have like $80 in merch waiting on my checks!! I am getting a sweatshirt with "Brooklyn DOC" on the pouch, and "Rocky's Girl" and "347-789" on the back. I am also getting 2 tshirts, both with Rocky's number on them somewheres. I plan on re-doing the looks, altho I am really excited about it!!!

7. Lastly, I am being interviewed on another person's blog! I am really excited about this tho! Is the blog, and I am really anxious to do this lol. I am curious as to waht she is going to ask me tho, cuz I am weird, and I do not know if she wants me to be serious or freaky lol I need to ask...

8. Wait, I didnt have a number 8. So back to work I go!!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


OK so Karen is making me really mad. I think that it was really sweet of her to make a profile for sheldon on facebook, but lately she has been pissing me off with it. She is playing games on it, and not just farmvillle but like baking life and shit. Proof:

So if the pic works, you will see my post, karens post for "baking life" or someshit, and then a bunch of farmvilles. This makes me really mad. This profile is not a fake one for her to help herself play games on, yet she is....

AND then, on top of it, she is fucking pissing me off about the damn dogs. NO i am NOT giving you money to save random ass dogs while yours STARVES!!! DER-TA-DER!!!

Im so ready to print off a pic of her page and send it to sheldon so he can see how obsessed she is with it, because she needs help. Like,seriously...

EDIT: ok obviously the link did not work lolz... Ill try again a lil later, unless she "deletes" it cuz she claims she is going to after she gets off the phone from saving dogs...

While at work...

So I am blogging from work, because I can get to this site and that in itself is fucking awesome. So far its pretty decent here, altho a lil slow. I like it tho. Not sure about the people I am training with. The people I was with yesterday were pretty cool but then today we have 4 other people in here which in itself isnt a big deal but they all worked together here at West before in a different department. I just dont think I will ever find somewhere where I truly fit in with no problems...

On the good side, there are 3 different locations in CT That I can eventually transfer to if I stay with West, altho I plan on staying lol. New London, Hartford, and Trumbull (which I have no idea WHERE it is lol) but New London is one of the places that Rocky and I had talked about... back to work, break is ova :)


Ok so I went downstairs to this thing called BluePlate Diner or some shit like that. Anyways it was really good, I got chili and a turky sandwich (on rye) and surprsingly they were both really good. Im interested as to what the pizza wil taste like on Thursday tho.

Anyways, some random things I want to hit on :P

Milan- like dude ok so he is one of my managers. Yes, I said HE lol. He is a slightly overweight, yet not as fat as steve, man who seems really nice. He is white. But I just think its weird that his name is Milan. Like, when I think of that name, i see an aisan woman, not a white man lol. Ben, do you get what I mean??

Forbode- that is a funny word lol it makes me giggle... just wanted to share that lolz

Attrition- I had no idea what this word meant until today. Apparently it means lost or lose... who knew? lol, not me !!!

DUDE so I took a shower this morning, and like even right now my hair smells f-ing amazing! lolz. And I just think that it is cool lol.

So I am technically a customer care specialist. That is my job title. But really, I am saving Cardmemebers from cancelling their accounts, which of course is important lolz. I am very anxious to pick my schedule however, I want dayshifts, M-F. Otherwise, I could get nights, or F-M 10 hr days lolz.

DUDE. So did you ever notice that "open" is a really funny word? I think it is, but maybe its cuz we over-use it here.. Every time we use it, I giggle lolz...

What else did I have to say? OH i need to remember my passwords more efficiantly I think lol. I cant access my bananaapplepie email, or nuthairz, or aburgeons... that is pissing me off. Addistionally, I am unable to access both anitas and my cafemoms, which I would really like to do, since I obviously crave drama, and am having a withdrawel.

Last night I had a crazy bad headache, which sucked major ass, but whatever, it was gone when I woke up...

Is there any more random ass shit I could post about? How about how I have to pee? lol

Im still waiting on my taxes to be deposited, which is driving me up a wall as well lolz..

Ok, backs to works I guess, I need to write my man <3

Friday, February 4, 2011

happiness and continuation of bullshit....

So, first we shall discuss happiness. I GOT APPROVED FOR MY APARTMENT!!!! I went and looked at it two weeks ago today, adn turned the application in last friday and got a call today saying I got it!!! :) So, I will be paying my security deposit sometime in the next 3 weeks, then as soon as there is an open apartment for may, I got dibs! Oh my, I am sooooo excited. Altho, mom was a downer and was all 'gimme money gimme money" and I was all "um sorry, i had to WORK for my money back off" and then mom left and I won the argument :D

Another happy story, I am no longer an employee at Dominos on Allen Blvd. This has made me euphoric. I decided it was my last day and I wanted to be lazy so I was and then dickwad came back from deliveries, got pissy and said to clock out, which I promptly did. Upon removing my workshirt, I sorta tossed it, and he walked thru the door right in time to get hit my it. My bad, altho I wont apologize for it lolz. THEN he asked for my key to the store, which I willingly gave up. Cuz I dont need it. So whatev. and then I leaved :)

I do have bullshit to share, but I want to pack some shit quick whilest mom and shey are away. :) adios...

530PM and the continuation starts...

Right now I is babysitting my buggaboo, aka Konnor. Golly this is the happiest baby I have ever known. Earlier, we got into a mouth-fart fight. I think he won. Wow. I lost a fight with a baby. I Suck.

We are watching ET and we are going to chinese at 6. (sorry ben!!! No kfc for me!!)

but the bullshit I wanted to hit on, SHIT DISTRACTED BY ET FUCK!!! Ew, who would fuck et? like, uh, GROSS!! lol. ANYWAYS, god, damn, i have severe add today... ok aw fuck me i dont even know what bullshit i wanted to discuss now, all i am focused on is Konnor's mouth-farts and the astronauts on ET... damnit...

And of course, just my luck, I dont have any info anywhere as to my original plans to this stupid post. fuck me. ooooh big white tubes on ET lol SHIT i hate my add lol.

Ok, So random but better htan nothing. I think that I am breaking up with Megan. I dont want to deal with the drama of Dominos at all so I think I am just gonna make a clean break.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

my life is full of bull shit....

I have a lot of things in my mind today. But I only have like 15 minutes to write, so this is gonna go fast! aw fuck i just wasted it on facebook. Fucking facebook drama... ok, ill be back either tonight after milios or tomorrow after my LAST SHIFT AT DOMINOS!!! **insert wild cheering**