Wednesday, March 16, 2011

random work thoughts....

WRITTEN 3/7/2011

IDK why I would think my MARRIED boss is cute. I wish someone would smack me upside the head concerning such. Only 12 sightings today. Hopefully more tomorrow. <--- See how pathetic I am??? Gods. I should learn more peanut butter recipes, lol. He took my peanut butter cookie. He toughed the other ones. Shoot me. Married, Shannon, he is MARRIED! And his religion prolly doesn't allow or approve divorce. So unless a freak accident was to occur, which doesn't matter since I have a baby outta wedlock! Shit. Fuck, Imma tear this up....

WRITTEN 3/9/2011

I just must be stupid or something. Why do I let other people effect my mood? I was having a great day until this stupid head set shit kicked in then I sorta freaked a lil but its not that bad now I have the thing working God other people really anger me good lord I feel like I suck that Im no good at anything which is so story of my life i dont know why i feel this way but... Miley Mitch and Steve all want me and I have Sheldon. Why doesnt that suffice? Why must I also be attracted to this married mad, dude he is MARRIED get a grip, MARRIED. All of a sudden this means nothing to me? Like, WTF?? For that matter, via face book he looks happily married. Some one really does need to smack me upside the head. I lave Rocky. Steve needs to stop saying he loves me cuz that is probably not good. I dont want to be with him and the whole me not touching his ---- will make sense to him soon. Hopefully. I cant even do what I have been doing for the last 5.5 years for crying out loud. BTW, good job just now, glance up/look away/ ignore. Damn how I wish I could be emailing this to myself right now so I could blog it easier since that is ideally what I am doing, cept writing it. Hopefully by monday I will be able to work this out I feel so stupid god damn I hate who I am physically mentally. I feel as though I am in this 20ft deep pit surrounded by snakes eating me alive. I dont know why I am so insecure but I am. The worst part is that last week I felt like I belonged but now I feel like in on the tiny island that the supply boats pass teasingly and never even get looked at altho I suppose that is the story of my life. No one has ever liked me, hell I dont even like me!

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